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Een dodelijke uitvaart

Posted on 23 July, 2019 at 14:50

In de kleine warme aula op de begraafplaats stonden slechts 60 stoelen, maar er werden minstens 100 mensen verwacht – hoorde ik later. Deze begraafplaats was idyllisch en chique, dus haar zonen vonden dat het hier moest en nergens anders. Met deze hitte leek me dat geen plusje achter de naam van de uitvaartonderneming. De heer op leeftijd die ik vergezelde mopperde ook. De deuren gingen dicht en het werd steeds benauwder en warmer. Met mij bleef iedereen onder de 60 staan. 

De overleden dame was achterin de 80 geworden en had geen gemakkelijk leven gehad. In de late jaren 50 was zij, zoals zovelen, met haar man en twee kleine kinderen geëmigreerd. Ze verging echter van de heimwee en daar was haar huwelijk niet tegen bestand. Uiteindelijk scheidden ze en ging zij met haar twee jongens terug naar Nederland. Het betekende vele jaren sappelen en armoede. Gescheiden, alleenstaande werkende moeder, ze werd met de nek aangekeken, grote stad of niet. Maar de jongens werden groot en kwamen goed terecht, al werd het leven pas een beetje leuker toen ze AOW kreeg. Ook dit hoorde ik later. 

Het zeer jonge uitvaartleidster, duidelijk zonder veel ervaring, las enkele zinnen voor die door de zonen op papier waren gezet. Zij konden of wilden zelf niets zeggen. En zo hoorden we in drie minuten wat jaartallen, woonplaatsen en hobby’s. Geen woord over haar huwelijk, emigreren of sappelen. Ze was dood en nu werd ook haar leven nog doodgezwegen. De tweede dood, noemt de dichter Huub Oosterhuis dit.  

Dat er ondertussen mensen flauwvielen van de hitte en iemand een hartaanval kreeg, was waarschijnlijk bijzaak. Dat het koor waarin ze vele jaren had gezongen haar lievelingslied kwam zingen, maakte daarentegen veel goed, ondanks de oude kraakstemmen die niet meer helemaal zuiver waren, of zelfs helemaal niet. Maar dat gaf niets: een liefdevoller eerbetoon kon ik me op dat moment niet voorstellen.

Na het afscheid op de stijlvolle locatie waren er luxe drankjes en hapjes. Mevrouw werd ondertussen door de rouwauto naar het crematorium gereden. Alleen. 

Pas heel veel later hoorde ik dat, naast de familie van de man die de hartaanval had gekregen, meerdere mensen de banden met de zonen verbroken hadden.

Ronduit dodelijk.

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