Blogs

Blogs

De traditionele uitvaartmis voor opa is meer dan nostalgie

Posted on 14 September, 2020 at 10:05

Naoberschap

 

De buren komen ook waken. Dezelfde buren met wie vroeger bij feesten tafellakens en het zondagse servies werd uitgewisseld. Veel te broos zijn ze, deze oude mannen, om mijn opa het huis uit te dragen, de kerk in en de begraafplaats op. Maar mijn opa is geen last voor hen, hij is bijna 100 jaar hun noaber geweest. Na jaren in het westen van het land gewoond te hebben, leek het voor mij folklore te zijn. Tot nu. Nu ontroert het me.

 

Happy hour

 

Alle buren komen ongenodigd langs – de achterdeur is immers altijd open. Ze blijven echter maar even en condoleren oma en de aanwezige tantes. Happy hour de godganse dag, maar boodschappen, eten en de vaat, alles gebeurt als vanzelfsprekend. Oma is geen moment alleen. Achterblijvers blijven hier niet alleen achter.

 

Avondwake

 

Na vijf dagen is de avondwake in de kerk. De eeuwenoude liturgie blijkt een soort invuloefening: voorgegeven liederen en lezingen in een paars katern, om nog enigszins het gevoel te hebben dat er iets te kiezen valt. Meenemen mag niet, wat ik natuurlijk wel doe. Ook de naam van míjn opa wordt ingevuld waar kruisjes staan. Bij de Latijnse mis de volgende dag is het niet veel anders. Zelfs de preek bevat niet meer dan enkele zinnen die ècht op opa van toepassing zijn. De pastoor is er nog niet zo lang.

 

Troost

 

Maar toch. Toch is dit ontegenzeggelijk troostend. Geen onderscheid tussen arm en rijk – voor iedereen hetzelfde ritueel. Wetend dat het altijd zo gaat, maakt dat je je deel voelt van het grotere geheel. De wierook die omhoog kringelt als eerbetoon aan iedere gestorven mens, de Latijnse mis die al honderden jaren klinkt – zo wordt ook míjn opa het paradijs ingezongen. Ik weet het, met mijn ogen dicht.

 

En nee, zo wil ik mijn eigen afscheidsdienst niet. Ik wil Selig sind die Toten van Hugo Distler, en psalm 100 van Benjamin Britten. Ik wil dat in een preek mijn leven verbonden wordt met psalm 139 – als het even kan.

Precies zoals ik het doe voor al die mensen voor wie ik hun uitvaart mag verzorgen. Ik probeer de betekenis van iemands leven te beschrijven door lijnen te trekken tussen goede en slechte herinneringen en karaktereigenschappen, en een Bijbeltekst, lied of gedicht. Uiterst persoonlijk dus.

 

En toch. Toch is het op de een of andere manier zeer rustgevend en troostend als dat allerindividueelste weggelaten wordt en het simpelweg de kèrk is die begraaft. En niet Erna van Wijngaarden, de aardigste pastoor of de meest welbespraakte dominee. Nooit meer een teleurstellende uitvaart, zonder dat er recht gedaan wordt aan de overledene, zonder troost. https://www.uitvaartvoorganger.com/apps/blog/show/46986668-een-dodelijke-uitvaart" target="_blank">Zo'n uitvaart heb ik als eens eerder beschreven. Op zo’n moment is weten wat je krijgt goed genoeg. Of zelfs het beste wat je je kunt wensen.

 

Herinneringen ophalen deden we met de hele familie en alle buren bij de koffietafel met krentenwegge in het café tegenover de begraafplaats.


 

@ireneogierwind #uitvaart #rouwen #rouwenverlies #troost #crematie #rituelen #uitvaartzuidholland #ceremonie #overlijden #overleden #opa #oma #condoleren #rustzacht #verdriet #missen #loslaten #houdenvan #uitvaartwinkel #herinneringen #rouwbegeleiding #verlies #afscheidnemen #pratenoverdedood #uitvaartritueel #dood #rotterdam #uitvaartonderneming #uitvaartverzorger #uitvaartbranche

 

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

5234 Comments

Reply Wimcof
20:50 on 2 December, 2021 
how to buy modafinil
Reply curry shoes
23:13 on 2 December, 2021 
Thanks so much for providing individuals with an extremely pleasant chance to read critical reviews from here. It is often so sweet plus packed with a lot of fun for me and my office peers to visit your web site nearly three times a week to study the newest stuff you will have. And lastly, I am actually pleased with the incredible guidelines you give. Certain two tips in this post are completely the finest we have had.
curry shoes http://www.stephcurry.us
Reply 100% real jordans for cheap
23:36 on 2 December, 2021 
I wanted to create you one little remark so as to say thanks a lot as before for those exceptional strategies you have documented on this site. It has been simply tremendously generous of you to deliver freely precisely what many individuals might have supplied as an e-book to help make some cash on their own, most notably now that you might have done it in case you wanted. These suggestions additionally worked like a good way to realize that someone else have a similar dream just as my very own to understand whole lot more in regard to this issue. I am sure there are lots of more pleasant opportunities up front for individuals that discover your blog.
100% real jordans for cheap http://www.jordansforcheap.us.com
Reply curry shoes
23:39 on 2 December, 2021 
Thanks for each of your hard work on this website. Ellie enjoys managing internet research and it is easy to see why. We all notice all relating to the compelling tactic you provide effective guidelines on this web blog and even improve participation from some others on the point then our favorite child is certainly discovering a whole lot. Have fun with the remaining portion of the new year. You have been doing a useful job.
curry shoes http://www.curry7shoes.us
Reply supreme hoodie
3:47 on 3 December, 2021 
I have to show my thanks to you for rescuing me from such a challenge. Right after exploring through the the net and seeing concepts which were not productive, I believed my entire life was done. Living devoid of the approaches to the issues you've fixed through your main post is a crucial case, as well as the kind which might have in a wrong way damaged my career if I had not encountered your website. Your own personal talents and kindness in playing with the whole thing was tremendous. I'm not sure what I would've done if I hadn't encountered such a stuff like this. I'm able to at this moment look forward to my future. Thanks for your time so much for the high quality and effective help. I will not be reluctant to refer your blog to anybody who would like support on this situation.
supreme hoodie http://www.supremes-clothing.com
Reply chrome hearts
3:49 on 3 December, 2021 
I'm also commenting to let you know what a nice discovery my cousin's girl undergone reading through your web site. She mastered such a lot of issues, not to mention what it is like to possess an excellent helping heart to make many others clearly fully grasp various advanced subject areas. You really did more than our expectations. I appreciate you for coming up with those important, dependable, informative and cool tips on the topic to Julie.
chrome hearts http://www.chromehearts.com.co
Reply yeezy boost 350
3:49 on 3 December, 2021 
Thank you for your whole efforts on this site. Debby delights in working on internet research and it is simple to grasp why. Many of us know all of the powerful way you give effective thoughts by means of this website and in addition strongly encourage participation from visitors on this issue so my daughter is truly studying so much. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. You're the one doing a remarkable job.
yeezy boost 350 http://www.yeezy350boost.us.com
Reply kyrie 6
3:50 on 3 December, 2021 
I in addition to my buddies have been checking the nice advice found on your site and so then developed a horrible suspicion I had not expressed respect to you for those strategies. Most of the young boys are actually for this reason warmed to study all of them and already have in fact been using them. Thanks for getting well helpful as well as for getting this form of high-quality areas millions of individuals are really desperate to understand about. My very own sincere apologies for not saying thanks to you sooner.
kyrie 6 http://www.kyrie6.org
Reply golden goose sneakers
5:09 on 3 December, 2021 
My spouse and i have been really fulfilled Chris managed to finish off his researching out of the ideas he discovered through your web pages. It is now and again perplexing just to possibly be giving for free strategies which a number of people have been trying to sell. Therefore we understand we've got you to give thanks to for this. Those illustrations you have made, the easy site navigation, the friendships you will assist to instill - it is most powerful, and it is helping our son and us imagine that this subject matter is cool, and that is unbelievably indispensable. Thank you for all!
golden goose sneakers http://www.goldengooseofficial.com
Reply moncler
6:10 on 3 December, 2021 
I wanted to develop a brief note to be able to appreciate you for all of the remarkable facts you are giving out at this site. My incredibly long internet investigation has finally been recognized with reliable insight to go over with my two friends. I 'd express that many of us website visitors actually are quite blessed to be in a remarkable network with so many perfect people with great guidelines. I feel very blessed to have come across the website page and look forward to so many more fun times reading here. Thanks again for all the details.
moncler http://www.monclersoutletstore.com
Reply supreme clothing
7:26 on 3 December, 2021 
I wish to express my appreciation for your kind-heartedness for folks that really need help on this one matter. Your personal commitment to passing the solution all around turned out to be definitely functional and have without exception helped women much like me to attain their objectives. This useful help entails a lot a person like me and extremely more to my peers. Many thanks; from each one of us.
supreme clothing http://www.supremeclothings.com
Reply Zakcof
8:35 on 3 December, 2021 
atarax tablet 10 mg
Reply kd 13
9:24 on 3 December, 2021 
Thanks a lot for providing individuals with such a breathtaking chance to check tips from this blog. It is often very nice and also jam-packed with a great time for me and my office mates to search your blog minimum 3 times weekly to read through the fresh guides you have. Not to mention, I'm always fulfilled with your very good guidelines served by you. Some 1 facts on this page are clearly the most suitable I've had.
kd 13 http://www.kd13shoes.us
Reply Lisacof
9:47 on 3 December, 2021 
cheap india cialis
Reply kyrie shoes
10:45 on 3 December, 2021 
I intended to post you a very little word to be able to thank you so much once again on the pleasant knowledge you have shown at this time. It has been extremely generous of people like you giving openly just what many people would've offered for sale for an electronic book in order to make some cash for themselves, mostly since you might well have done it in case you decided. Those ideas in addition served like a great way to recognize that most people have the identical desire the same as my personal own to grasp a whole lot more concerning this matter. I know there are thousands of more fun occasions ahead for those who looked at your blog post.
kyrie shoes http://www.kyrieirvingshoes.us.com
Reply kevin durant shoes
10:50 on 3 December, 2021 
I want to show some thanks to this writer for rescuing me from this particular matter. As a result of scouting throughout the the web and coming across proposals that were not productive, I assumed my entire life was well over. Existing without the approaches to the problems you've fixed by means of this report is a critical case, and the kind which might have in a negative way damaged my career if I hadn't discovered your website. Your mastery and kindness in dealing with all areas was crucial. I am not sure what I would've done if I had not discovered such a step like this. I can also at this moment look forward to my future. Thanks very much for the expert and results-oriented help. I will not be reluctant to refer your web sites to any person who desires guide on this problem.
kevin durant shoes http://www.kevindurant-shoes.us.com
Reply Kiacof
11:02 on 3 December, 2021 
buy flagyl 500mg
Reply Wimcof
12:41 on 3 December, 2021 
atarax 25
Reply curry 6 shoes
14:49 on 3 December, 2021 
My spouse and i got quite fulfilled when Peter managed to round up his investigations through your precious recommendations he discovered in your web pages. It is now and again perplexing to simply be freely giving guidance which men and women might have been trying to sell. So we take into account we have got the blog owner to thank for that. The specific illustrations you've made, the easy web site menu, the friendships your site help instill - it is mostly powerful, and it's really facilitating our son and our family reason why that idea is amusing, which is certainly seriously fundamental. Many thanks for the whole thing!
curry 6 shoes http://www.curry-6.us
Reply kd 10
14:58 on 3 December, 2021 
I would like to show my thanks to the writer for rescuing me from this particular challenge. Right after checking through the the net and seeing concepts that were not powerful, I believed my entire life was well over. Living devoid of the solutions to the issues you've sorted out by way of your good report is a critical case, and the ones that would have adversely damaged my career if I hadn't noticed your web blog. Your own know-how and kindness in touching all the stuff was valuable. I'm not sure what I would have done if I hadn't discovered such a solution like this. It's possible to at this point look forward to my future. Thanks for your time so much for this high quality and result oriented help. I won't think twice to recommend your web blog to any person who ought to have tips about this topic.
kd 10 http://www.kd10.us