Blogs

Blogs

De traditionele uitvaartmis voor opa is meer dan nostalgie

Posted on 14 September, 2020 at 10:05

Naoberschap

 

De buren komen ook waken. Dezelfde buren met wie vroeger bij feesten tafellakens en het zondagse servies werd uitgewisseld. Veel te broos zijn ze, deze oude mannen, om mijn opa het huis uit te dragen, de kerk in en de begraafplaats op. Maar mijn opa is geen last voor hen, hij is bijna 100 jaar hun noaber geweest. Na jaren in het westen van het land gewoond te hebben, leek het voor mij folklore te zijn. Tot nu. Nu ontroert het me.

 

Happy hour

 

Alle buren komen ongenodigd langs – de achterdeur is immers altijd open. Ze blijven echter maar even en condoleren oma en de aanwezige tantes. Happy hour de godganse dag, maar boodschappen, eten en de vaat, alles gebeurt als vanzelfsprekend. Oma is geen moment alleen. Achterblijvers blijven hier niet alleen achter.

 

Avondwake

 

Na vijf dagen is de avondwake in de kerk. De eeuwenoude liturgie blijkt een soort invuloefening: voorgegeven liederen en lezingen in een paars katern, om nog enigszins het gevoel te hebben dat er iets te kiezen valt. Meenemen mag niet, wat ik natuurlijk wel doe. Ook de naam van míjn opa wordt ingevuld waar kruisjes staan. Bij de Latijnse mis de volgende dag is het niet veel anders. Zelfs de preek bevat niet meer dan enkele zinnen die ècht op opa van toepassing zijn. De pastoor is er nog niet zo lang.

 

Troost

 

Maar toch. Toch is dit ontegenzeggelijk troostend. Geen onderscheid tussen arm en rijk – voor iedereen hetzelfde ritueel. Wetend dat het altijd zo gaat, maakt dat je je deel voelt van het grotere geheel. De wierook die omhoog kringelt als eerbetoon aan iedere gestorven mens, de Latijnse mis die al honderden jaren klinkt – zo wordt ook míjn opa het paradijs ingezongen. Ik weet het, met mijn ogen dicht.

 

En nee, zo wil ik mijn eigen afscheidsdienst niet. Ik wil Selig sind die Toten van Hugo Distler, en psalm 100 van Benjamin Britten. Ik wil dat in een preek mijn leven verbonden wordt met psalm 139 – als het even kan.

Precies zoals ik het doe voor al die mensen voor wie ik hun uitvaart mag verzorgen. Ik probeer de betekenis van iemands leven te beschrijven door lijnen te trekken tussen goede en slechte herinneringen en karaktereigenschappen, en een Bijbeltekst, lied of gedicht. Uiterst persoonlijk dus.

 

En toch. Toch is het op de een of andere manier zeer rustgevend en troostend als dat allerindividueelste weggelaten wordt en het simpelweg de kèrk is die begraaft. En niet Erna van Wijngaarden, de aardigste pastoor of de meest welbespraakte dominee. Nooit meer een teleurstellende uitvaart, zonder dat er recht gedaan wordt aan de overledene, zonder troost. https://www.uitvaartvoorganger.com/apps/blog/show/46986668-een-dodelijke-uitvaart" target="_blank">Zo'n uitvaart heb ik als eens eerder beschreven. Op zo’n moment is weten wat je krijgt goed genoeg. Of zelfs het beste wat je je kunt wensen.

 

Herinneringen ophalen deden we met de hele familie en alle buren bij de koffietafel met krentenwegge in het café tegenover de begraafplaats.


 

@ireneogierwind #uitvaart #rouwen #rouwenverlies #troost #crematie #rituelen #uitvaartzuidholland #ceremonie #overlijden #overleden #opa #oma #condoleren #rustzacht #verdriet #missen #loslaten #houdenvan #uitvaartwinkel #herinneringen #rouwbegeleiding #verlies #afscheidnemen #pratenoverdedood #uitvaartritueel #dood #rotterdam #uitvaartonderneming #uitvaartverzorger #uitvaartbranche

 

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

1818 Comments

Reply supreme hoodie
19:17 on 12 May, 2021 
I together with my buddies happened to be reading the excellent tricks on your website and so immediately I had an awful suspicion I had not expressed respect to the site owner for them. All of the young men were absolutely stimulated to study all of them and have now seriously been taking advantage of those things. Thanks for really being indeed considerate and then for having these kinds of essential topics millions of individuals are really wanting to learn about. My personal sincere apologies for not saying thanks to sooner.
supreme hoodie http://www.supremesonline.com
Reply yeezy 500
19:17 on 12 May, 2021 
I wanted to post you that little bit of note in order to say thanks a lot as before with the splendid views you have provided in this article. It has been really wonderfully generous of people like you to supply unreservedly what numerous people might have marketed as an ebook to end up making some profit on their own, most importantly considering the fact that you might have done it in the event you considered necessary. The basics in addition served as a easy way to understand that other people have similar dream the same as mine to learn a little more pertaining to this matter. I think there are a lot more pleasurable times ahead for many who start reading your blog post.
yeezy 500 http://www.yeezy-500.us.com
Reply kevin durant shoes
20:10 on 12 May, 2021 
I and my friends ended up going through the nice tricks from your web site while immediately I had an awful suspicion I had not thanked the web site owner for those secrets. The young boys are actually certainly very interested to read through all of them and already have undoubtedly been tapping into these things. Thank you for simply being really considerate and also for considering certain fine subjects millions of individuals are really eager to know about. Our honest regret for not saying thanks to you sooner.
kevin durant shoes http://www.kevindurant-shoes.us.com
Reply bape clothing
15:02 on 13 May, 2021 
I needed to compose you a bit of word so as to say thank you yet again for all the superb ideas you've contributed in this case. It has been open-handed of people like you to allow unhampered exactly what many individuals could have offered for sale for an electronic book to earn some cash on their own, most notably now that you might have tried it if you wanted. The thoughts likewise served as the great way to fully grasp the rest have similar dreams like my own to grasp significantly more when considering this problem. I am certain there are a lot more fun occasions in the future for many who looked at your blog.
bape clothing http://www.bape-clothing.us
Reply birkin bag
18:47 on 13 May, 2021 
Thanks for every one of your labor on this blog. Ellie delights in participating in investigation and it's really obvious why. We all hear all about the powerful way you offer advantageous guidance on the blog and as well as encourage contribution from visitors on this topic and our simple princess is actually starting to learn a lot of things. Take pleasure in the rest of the new year. You're the one conducting a superb job.
birkin bag http://www.hermesbirkins.com
Reply yeezy
19:09 on 13 May, 2021 
I want to show some appreciation to this writer for bailing me out of such a trouble. Just after surfing around throughout the the web and meeting strategies which were not pleasant, I figured my life was well over. Being alive minus the approaches to the issues you have sorted out by way of your entire guideline is a crucial case, as well as ones that could have in a wrong way affected my career if I hadn't encountered the website. Your mastery and kindness in touching the whole thing was useful. I'm not sure what I would've done if I hadn't discovered such a subject like this. I can now relish my future. Thanks so much for this high quality and amazing guide. I will not think twice to refer the blog to anyone who requires tips about this matter.
yeezy http://www.yeezy350s.com
Reply lebron shoes
12:04 on 14 May, 2021 
Needed to draft you a little word to finally give thanks once again with the incredible things you've contributed at this time. It's really unbelievably open-handed with you to supply freely just what many of us could possibly have made available for an ebook to get some cash on their own, particularly considering the fact that you could have done it in the event you desired. Those strategies also acted to become easy way to be aware that many people have the identical desire similar to my own to figure out a whole lot more regarding this condition. I am certain there are several more enjoyable sessions ahead for people who looked over your blog.
lebron shoes http://www.lebronjames.us.com
Reply kawhi leonard shoes
13:23 on 14 May, 2021 
I simply wanted to say thanks again. I am not sure the things that I could possibly have followed in the absence of the actual information provided by you over my area. It previously was a real frightening concern in my view, nevertheless seeing the specialized form you managed it forced me to leap over happiness. I am just happy for the advice and then trust you comprehend what a great job your are accomplishing instructing the mediocre ones using a web site. I'm certain you've never come across all of us.
kawhi leonard shoes http://www.kawhileonardshoes.us
Reply jordan 1 high
7:08 on 15 May, 2021 
My husband and i were fulfilled Louis could finish up his reports with the precious recommendations he discovered while using the site. It's not at all simplistic just to find yourself giving out things that many many people might have been making money from. So we grasp we have got the writer to appreciate for that. The specific explanations you made, the straightforward website menu, the relationships your site make it possible to promote - it is all fantastic, and it's really making our son and the family imagine that that idea is interesting, which is highly important. Many thanks for the whole lot!
jordan 1 high http://www.jordan1shoes.us
Reply lebron shoes
12:05 on 15 May, 2021 
I'm just commenting to make you understand of the outstanding discovery my cousin's princess enjoyed visiting your web page. She realized a good number of details, which include what it's like to have a very effective teaching nature to have others really easily master some very confusing matters. You actually exceeded readers' desires. Thanks for coming up with these good, trustworthy, informative as well as easy tips on your topic to Jane.
lebron shoes http://www.lebronjames-shoes.us.com
Reply jordan 11
12:38 on 15 May, 2021 
I needed to compose you the little bit of note just to give thanks again for your personal pretty things you have contributed here. It has been certainly seriously generous of people like you to deliver extensively just what most people could have offered for sale for an e-book to make some profit for their own end, notably considering that you might well have done it in case you desired. The good tips likewise acted to be the easy way to comprehend someone else have similar interest much like mine to understand good deal more concerning this problem. I am sure there are lots of more pleasurable situations ahead for individuals who looked over your blog post.
jordan 11 http://www.jordan11retro.us.com
Reply golden goose
23:41 on 15 May, 2021 
I enjoy you because of each of your efforts on this web page. My mom enjoys conducting investigation and it's really easy to understand why. Most of us notice all about the lively ways you give effective techniques via your blog and strongly encourage participation from visitors on this subject and my princess is now studying a lot of things. Have fun with the rest of the new year. You are always conducting a glorious job.
golden goose http://www.goldengoosessale.com
Reply longchamp
23:42 on 15 May, 2021 
I enjoy you because of all your valuable effort on this web site. My mom enjoys engaging in investigations and it's obvious why. We hear all regarding the powerful method you produce very useful tactics on this web blog and therefore strongly encourage contribution from website visitors on this concern then our girl is without a doubt learning a whole lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the new year. Your doing a superb job.
longchamp http://www.longchampshandbags.us.org
Reply golden goose
23:43 on 15 May, 2021 
I must point out my admiration for your kindness in support of visitors who really need assistance with the study. Your special commitment to passing the solution all around became especially useful and has usually made men and women much like me to attain their objectives. Your invaluable help entails a great deal to me and even more to my peers. Thank you; from everyone of us.
golden goose http://www.goldengoose-shoes.us.com
Reply supreme clothing
23:44 on 15 May, 2021 
I truly wanted to develop a remark to thank you for some of the marvelous tricks you are giving out here. My time consuming internet research has now been compensated with reliable points to talk about with my friends and classmates. I 'd say that most of us website visitors actually are quite endowed to be in a very good network with many brilliant professionals with helpful strategies. I feel very grateful to have come across your weblog and look forward to really more awesome minutes reading here. Thanks a lot once again for everything.
supreme clothing http://www.supremeclothingstore.com
Reply birkin bag
4:04 on 16 May, 2021 
I enjoy you because of each of your work on this web page. Gloria loves participating in internet research and it's simple to grasp why. Most people notice all relating to the lively mode you convey functional strategies by means of the website and therefore attract contribution from some other people about this situation so our daughter is in fact starting to learn a whole lot. Enjoy the remaining portion of the new year. Your doing a really good job.
birkin bag http://www.birkinbag.us.com
Reply yeezys
5:05 on 16 May, 2021 
Thank you so much for providing individuals with such a wonderful chance to check tips from this blog. It is usually very ideal and jam-packed with fun for me personally and my office peers to visit your web site at a minimum thrice in 7 days to study the newest secrets you will have. Not to mention, I am also at all times satisfied with the terrific tips and hints you serve. Selected 2 points in this post are clearly the most efficient we have ever had.
yeezys http://www.yeezy-shoes.us.org
Reply kyrie 6 shoes
23:16 on 16 May, 2021 
I as well as my guys were reading through the excellent ideas found on the blog and so instantly I had a horrible suspicion I never thanked the blog owner for those strategies. My ladies are actually consequently excited to read through all of them and now have surely been tapping into these things. Thanks for simply being very kind as well as for picking variety of really good subject areas most people are really needing to be informed on. Our honest apologies for not expressing appreciation to sooner.
kyrie 6 shoes http://www.kyrie-6.com
Reply stone island outlet
3:22 on 17 May, 2021 
I simply wanted to send a simple word to appreciate you for some of the remarkable guidelines you are giving out on this site. My long internet look up has now been honored with good tips to exchange with my family. I would say that we readers actually are rather fortunate to exist in a superb network with very many brilliant people with good methods. I feel really fortunate to have encountered your entire weblog and look forward to plenty of more exciting times reading here. Thanks once again for everything.
stone island outlet http://www.stone-island.us.com
Reply golden goose sneakers
3:45 on 17 May, 2021 
I wish to express some appreciation to this writer for bailing me out of this type of scenario. Right after researching throughout the internet and coming across basics that were not productive, I thought my entire life was gone. Living without the strategies to the problems you have sorted out all through your entire guide is a crucial case, and ones that could have in a wrong way damaged my entire career if I had not noticed your web page. Your actual knowledge and kindness in dealing with all the stuff was helpful. I am not sure what I would have done if I hadn't discovered such a thing like this. I am able to at this moment relish my future. Thank you so much for this reliable and results-oriented guide. I won't think twice to refer your blog post to any person who would like guidelines on this topic.
golden goose sneakers http://www.goldengoosesneakers.us.org
0